19
Jun
Sigh.
I’m having a difficult time lately. I feel like I’m losing myself. Losing whatever passion I once had for certain things. I’m glad I’m taking that next step in furthering my education and attempting to finish school. I also found a job finally. Which is a blessing. But everytime I think about working and going back to school, I shudder. I cannot stand the idea of not being with Hunter everyday. Not working the last year and a half has been wonderful. I’ve been able to watch him grow. It’s been so great. I missed so much right after he first born from working all the time. I missed first steps, first words, first everything. I absolutely hated it. And now, all I can think of is how much am I going to miss now?
I get it. I know. Parents work all the time. It’s a staple in a money hungry society. Growing up I never understood how women could “just be a stay at home mom.” And now, now I know it’s more than “just.” It’s such an amazing thing. I just don’t want to miss out on some other first of his. I hate the idea of someone else raising my kid. It breaks my heart. But, I know I don’t have much of a choice.
I just have so much going in right now. Life is just a whirlwind.







